As Pluto continues its scourging journey through Capricorn, there is currently no let up in the number disturbing of global events. Wondering if we badly need some help and support right now, I spotted these ads. in the Situations Vacant column as I was browsing through my latest copy of The Cosmic Herald (pub. Intergalactic Press).
DEITIES FOR LIGHT DUTIES
Well established on-going Earth project, “Humans’R’Us” is urgently seeking deities for light duties (eg. bringing down, switching on, spreading same and enlightening individuals on an ad hoc basis) and has openings for the right applicants in two of our prestigious major departments, namely the expression and manifestation of Love and Will.
For our Will department, preferably with experience of the planet Mars (you may be a native or have resided on this planet) to take on the role of 21st century Roman Centurion. You will be a strongly motivated self-starter who can demonstrate such qualities as courage and boldness. Advanced intuitive skills are necessary and you will have the ability to lead others. Under pressure you can remain focussed. You are able to be fair, just and self-disciplined and can command the respect of others. You have determination to succeed and are not afraid use your initiative. Those seeking personal glory need not apply.
Is also required for our Love department, from or with strong previous associations with the planets Neptune and Jupiter, to take on the role of priestess/priest and teacher/healer (we are particularly interested in dual ethnicity candidates for this position). Applicants should be clear, focussed and attentive with good listening skills and the ability to give time and support to those in need of bringing back to wholeness. You should demonstrate such qualities as inclusiveness, unconditional love and acceptance, sensitivity and openness. You will be unafraid of showing your own vulnerability yet at the same time will be protective of those you are healing. Your ministry is to teach and heal by example, and your CV should show that you are able to let go of the things and people you care for most, knowing that to set them free is one of the highest examples of love in action.
For more information about the project, please apply, through the normal telepathic channels, to
Successful applicants will be invited to take part in a detailed mind meld, following which appointments will be made.
“Humans’R’Us” is an equal opportunities project, sponsored by Might’N’Light Universal.
First published in ‘Qabalist I’, 2000
greetings~ I would love to speak with you more about your positions you have open. I am an Aries love warrior. I have self-taught myself in detail about natal charts, deciphering symbolism, understanding planets, houses and how it all effects us humans. I am wanting to grow and learn more, to develop my UCI gifts even further. If you are still in need of assistance, please let me know and we can discuss things further.
Thank you for your time,
We have had several such responses to this humorous piece. As stated in the item, your responses should be pursued through ‘normal telepathic channels’, so I am closing this post to further comment. Moderator.